Thursday in training….

I did not go into in depth the experience with the trainee that (eventually) pitched up on Thursday night, except the superficial stuff as an explanation as to why I was angry for the second time that night. So this is by way of an expansion on that part of the night which I did not want to write until I had talked to this trainee on MSN. I would have preferred a verbal post-mortem, but that has not been possible in the past few days. I have been able to talk in-depth to Peter and Paul and that has helped shape my own experience.

Nervous is an understatement

Now, as usual before any session I had asked this boi, lets call him T, to provide me with a list of his limits, both those that were sacrosanct and those that needed to be pushed. During training I do not go near either as that is not what training is about. Training for me is about getting a boi ready to take my collar, so learning basic etiquette, how to behave around me and in a group, and generally becoming confident in the role and aware of his place. So T had duly provided me with a list and that is now tucked away.

I had met him, of course, before Thursday, and had realised how shy he was. I had not appreciated how shy until Thursday. I had wanted him to come along so that he would be exposed to a crowd but there would be support there in the shape of Peter and Paul. The plan in my mind was to get him totally stripped, handcuffed and immobile for a good half hour to role set and then take it from there. He arrived so late though, 11pm, that I had already written him off, and quietly fuming and reeking of Paul’s stomach contents I was not in the best frame of mind when he did finally pitch up.

I quickly realised as I collared him that I may have to revise my plan. I told him to strip, he hesitated. I told him again, he hesitated again. After this had gone on a while I realised that he simply was incapable of doing it: the conflict in his head between the need to obey and his shyness was too great: he seemed like one of those robots from a 50’s sci-fi that has some sort of logic conflict. So, I told him just to remove his upper half. This was a major struggle in itself and took several repeated orders before he obeyed. At this stage he asked for a blindfold, which I had with me, and I put it on. Then he calmed down a little, and after 5 minutes I removed it: at this point ‘the incident’ happened.

The incident

Now Paul later accused me of overreacting to this, and he was probably right. A hand came from my right and tweaked T’s nipple. I spun round and barked at this bloke, who responded with some personal abuse aimed at me; Very adult behaviour all in all. But I was angry for two reasons. In the first place T had begun to calm down, and Paul, Peter and I were beginning to make progress. I was worried that this would set him back. Secondly, I had always had it drilled into me that you never, ever, interfere with a session. You do not know the parameters of what you are doing. You only join in if requested to do so unless the boi is clearly put there for public gratification, as it were. I would never do that to trainees. So that is why I was annoyed, topped off by the earlier incident.

Victory, of sorts…

After this I got T up and Paul and Peter took him under the balcony for a chat whilst I prowled around looking for this twat. Luckily for both of us I did not find him. I had not realised what a crowd we had drawn, but thinking about it later here was a wet dream come true for many of these guys and no wonder they could not resist. In future, if anyone is reading this, look but don’t touch. So I returned to where T was and, well, he had started to come out of his shock and was far less clingy. He actually has a very pleasing torso and eventually I managed to lead him around the club, with Paul behind, in a stop-start way.

Epilogue

Since Thursday I have had several lumps of feedback. Neither Paul nor Peter are convinced. Now Paul is a total exhibitionist without a shy bone in his body and Peter has been in the scene since Noah was a boy. Still, they both wondered whether my efforts would be worth it and that he was pretty certain to fail unless he allowed his desire to serve overcome his shyness: basically whether he wanted it enough. There were other minor things: forgetting basic etiquette, not being able to look at me, not being able to stand still on command: as Paul said, he learned that when he was two. The last stuff is all correctable and probably a product of intense nervousness.

From other sources I have had mixed responses. One master who was there that night messaged me to ask if I ever had other Masters help play with bois and complimented me as to how good T looked. Dennis, a Master of long standing whose views I respect, was not particularly critical and thought that T had done fairly well for his first time out. But he mentioned today he got a message on Slave 4 Master asking if he had seen ‘that Asian bitch behaving in a silly way’ on Thursday. This may be the same person who ran into T at Vauxhall station that night and told him ‘everyone hated him because of how he behaved’. Not particularly helpful.

I have told T that I expect better things of him. That the next outing will be make or break for him: either he allows his desire to serve dominate or his shyness. If the latter wins out, well, that’s it. I actually want to enjoy myself when I go out and not get too stressed training slaves: if it is a repeat performance of Thursday, or even close to it, he’s off down washout lane. And I will have to be firm with myself: I must not let my desire to give T a second chance potentially blind me to the fact that he may not be able to cut it. Watch this space.

M