Slave or Sub?

An ongoing debate

The Slave/sub debate seems to be running on and generally sprawling all over the place. I was asked a couple of times to try and give some sort of working definition, so here is my attempt. Guys seem to use the two words interchangeably but, for me, the two words mean very different things. Equally a slave hooks up to a Master, so a sub hooks up to a dom. The notion of tops and bottoms to me is just about sex, giving and taking.

Simple definition.

OK, let’s start with this. A slave takes pleasure in service, however it manifests itself. A sub takes pleasure in sex. That leads on to a sub being potentially dominant in a relationship but not in bed, or having an equal relationship with their partner: they need not be someone’s bitch all the time. A slave, though, is a lifestyle choice in many ways, has rules and regulations to adopt and accept: power has been surrendered to another for the duration of a session or even for life. The Master is dominant at all times during this period.

Secondly, and this goes to the heart of what I think, is that a dom is not responsible for the sub. A master is responsible for his slaves because of the power transaction that has taken place. A Master owns the slave, with all that means for both parties. A dom does not own a sub.

Is that enough?

Is this going to solve any debate? Well, it does for me. If people want a dom by this definition it certainly isn’t me, and in my view isn’t a Master in any form, just a dom in leather. But many guys who are confused about definitions may be helped by this outline, and if it helps create even a scintilla of clarity, well, that would be a step in the right direction.

M