Approach

Personal Philosophy part two

Yesterday I outlined the twin pillars of Power and Responsibility and my views on scene etiquette. I must stress that this is the way that I operate, it is not some attempt to lay down the law. There are lots of things to disagree with, some more open to criticism than others. Anyhow, read on and please comment.

Sexual, not sex

This scene is not about sex, but about the environment being sexual. A Master/slave scene is not a form of extended foreplay leading up to rough sex as its climax. This is about power, service and voluntary submission in a sexual environment. Sex is a tool within this environment but is not the end result. For a slave, to be fucked by his master should be one of the ultimate forms of pleasure: he is pleasing his Master by providing sexual gratification, attention from the Master is directed solely at him. He may be equally delighted by the opportunity to give his Master a blow job, or rim him, or even suck a nipple. This sexual contact is part of a rewards-based structure but the ultimate aim of any slave is to be of service, not to have sex.


Useful, not used

Many guys who fancy themselves as Masters say that they want to ‘use’ a boi, and there are plenty of bois out there wanting to be used, but this is not how I operate. I want a boi to be useful, and that should be his goal. The whole concept of using and wanting to be used has no place in my philosophy. By using a boi all you are doing is indulging him in his vices and providing neither training, structure or discipline. You are certainly not inculcating a desire to be of service. Bois wanting to be used usually want some fantasy rough sex with a guy in leather, but it is usually a desire to have something that they like: Fine. But being useful is not about doing things that you like and not doing things that you don’t like: it is about a desire to serve. As soon as you accept a collar obedience should be unquestioning, no debate or mewling about things. A good Master will never, ever ask you to do anything dangerous or potentially life-threatening (for reasons already given) and any discussion about limits should have taken place before accepting service. In these circumstances a good slave should be willing to be useful to his Master in all circumstances and enjoy every minute of it.


Enjoyment of service

For a slave this should be the final goal, a simple unparalleled joy in the honour and respect accorded to a good slave by his Master. In return a Master should enjoy being served and the nature of the service on offer. This is not to say that service should be demanding and obsequious, rather it should be quiet, contientious and anticipatory. This could be anything, from bringing his Master a coffee and the paper, to cleaning his leather gear, to sucking his cock. It is all service, and should all be equally enjoyable because of it.

The behaviour of a Master and Slave

I had considered writing an involved explanation of this, then I found this excellent paragraph in a piece by David Stein, one I will repeat verbatim:

“The best Masters, in my experience, act pretty much the same all the time. They don't pretend to be what they're not, and they approach everyone with a courtesy rooted in self-confidence. They laugh or smile more often than they bark orders. A "Master" who tries to bolster his own self-importance by treating everyone like a doormat is bad news; it's the same for slaves. The ones who fawn over the hottest-looking Masters and treat everyone else like dirt only want to serve their own libidos. Be respectful to everyone and deferential to those who outrank you, by role or experience, but not obtrusively servile or obsequious -- that gets annoying real fast. A helpful, willing attitude, genuine humility rather than low self-esteem, and a sense of humor go a long way.”

For me this sums things up in a nutshell. I have no desire to inflict acts of random violence, or strut around giving it the big ‘I am’. Equally I am deplored by slaves who, for want of a better phrase, are only in it for what they get out of it. My attitude to both of these sorts of people, and there are plenty out there, is to avoid them like the plague.


Part three later in the week.

M