We happy few

A productive meeting

Last night I was out having a social meeting with a Master and his boi. Both are in the process of trying to introduce the Master/slave lifestyle into their current relationship. This is always a tough thing to do: a lot of the previous habits have to be discarded, and new ones put in their place whilst, at the same time, maintaining the cohesion of the relationship. A tough call in any circumstance.

This pair clearly had many things in their favour. Firstly they clearly loved each other and were very close, the Master indeed finding it hard not to indulge his boi and, as he said at one point ‘not treat him like some form of chattel’. This cropped up in a discussion about ‘loaning’ out bois, but as I pointed out, He makes the rules for his boi, and if he wants His boi to be exclusive to him, or put constraints upon his activities when he is loaned out, well, that is His choice. He is the boss after all.

So we went through a whole range of stuff for over two and a half hours, from etiquette and protocol in public to what they want to do between themselves. My point of view was simple: the Master and boi should know the rules and regulations, and in a public space like The Hoist, be more attuned to them, after all they are on show and the boi is a reflection of his Master’s training and attitude. But, in other circumstances, take what they see fit from the menu of rules and if needs be make up their own. After all, they need to make their relationship work and any rules imposed should be to help that along, not hinder it.

Master’s pressure

It is far harder to be a Master than a boi, and this came out in this discussion. The Master felt that he was just getting over the need to keep His boi busy doing things at all times, but that He sometimes still felt the pressure to do so. This is a clear trap that many couples fall into. In a fixed-time session it is possible to do that. Before a session starts I like to have a checklist in my head of things for the boi to do and alternate between ‘hard’ things (like tt, ass-stretching etc) and softer things like leather care, cleaning or cooking. The longer the session the more changes in tempo you need to have.

In a 24/7 relationship this is impossible. In this Masters case, as He said, some days He would come home from work and have no energy to do anything. At this stage it is the boi who needs to step in, and this is why bois should not have all initiative crushed. The boi could offer his Master a massage, or just leave Him to unwind and do things that he knew needed doing so that his Master would notice them later and (hopefully) be pleased.

Long road but?

It is a long and hard road that this couple have chosen. The boi is now writing his own blog (http://www.slaveboi07.blogspot.com/) and I am sending what other bois I can to read this. It is a matter of information and support. There are so few of us who are prepared to put in the time and effort that we simply have to support each other. It comes back to the notion of a Household that I was discussing with Dennis and I also chatted with this pair about: as a support structure for Masters and bois so they could discover more, feel less isolated and be supported by like minded people. The more that I think about it, the more I find it a necessity. It may be a long road for this pair, but happiness is already there and, with luck, support and a fair wind, there is more to come. I personally wish them well and will do everything I can to support them.

M