Absolute Beginners

I have been asked by bois so many times about what I do it is getting a bit wearisome repeating myself. Not their fault, for them it is all fresh, but for me it is so damn repetitive. So here is the outline of how I deal with new bois, in the hope that they will read this rather than just let me ramble on.

The Basics

Before I really talk about physical acts there is the basic behaviour and training that all bois are expected to know. In short this is all the protocol, etiquette and presents. These are not going to kill you to learn and are totally non-sexual, which is not to say they are not erotic. If any boi questions the need for this then I am happy to explain why a disciplined model of behaviour is a necessity. If a boi says “this is not for me” then I have no interest at all. Bois should be disciplined individuals who show respect and deference to their Master, not sloppy, slovenly and disrespectful. Providing and enforcing a disciplined structure is part of that basic set of building blocks. So initial training is all about getting this framework in place and making sure the boi knows it.

After this, before even putting on a collar, a boi is to set out four lists: Limits, Punishments, Rewards and Education.

Limits

When you get on to discussing physical acts this is the most crucial. All bois are different, but for a Master the key facts before commencing any scene are the knowledge of a slave’s limits. These are, in my book, inviable. A boi is encouraged to list here any physical act that he does not want to do, or have done to him, ever. Of course things can be taken off this list by the boi, but ideally never added to except by one route that I will mention later on. I never trust a boi who says: ‘no limits’. Everyone has limits, and I am certainly not titillated by any boi who thinks that claiming he has none is somhow a good thing.

Punishments

Punishments are there to correct behaviour. They are not there to be enjoyed. If a boi enjoys a punishment you defeat the object, which is to react to mistakes and bad behaviour by doing something to the boi he does not like. This could be physical, such as a form of CP, or TT or CBT. Equally it could be forcing a boi to imbibe something: my Alpha boi hates spam, for example, so to punish him I sometimes require him to eat it. There is also the ultimate sanction of being ignored. A boi wants to please his Master, and denial of service is a harsh punishment for really serious bois. There are other forms of punishments, such as being fucked or similar by a boi lower down in the pecking order.

Rewards

Conversely, to run parallel with the Punishments are the Rewards. This is something that the boi really likes. Some bois are rewarded simply by the ability to serve, of course, but I do like the` ability to do something to the boi that he really likes if he has done something very well, behaved with excellence or generally just shone. This, too, is different from boi to boi. Some love to be fucked by their Master as it is his attention that is focussed on the boi and it is also the provision of service. Others like to receive oral, so another boi may be required to do that for him. Some like ass-stretching, others just want to have their hair stroked or be allowed to sit on furniture for a bit. So Rewards and Punishments run together: do well, you get a reward, do badly, you are punished: a simple and logical structure.

Education

This is generally the most intriguing, because it is all about the unknown. A boi can tell me before taking on a collar that he ‘would like to try’ or ‘has always wondered if…’ relating to a specific thing. It may be something very basic, like TT. It may be something that takes time and effort, like wanting to be fisted. Equally I often weigh up a boi and decide that we need to try something new, based on my judgement that he would respond well to a particular thing. Exploring a boi, developing him, pushing him to greater efforts and watching him grow is one of the most stirring things about this scene. This is why I hate one-offs: there is no scope for development and training, and that is one of the aspects of this scene that I truly enjoy.

M